Date: Wed, 26 Nov 1997 00:39:35 -0500 From: Jim Crotty Subject: Re: What Car Names Mean In a message dated 11/25/97 10:06:05 AM, you wrote: <The Statements Car Owners are Really Making: >-------------------------------------------- > >Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of > sports cars. >Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars. >Acura NSX - I am impotent. >Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires. >Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states. >Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman. >Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp. >Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people. >Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when > I tell them I have a 'Vette. >Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis. >Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow > the government. >Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather. >Datsun 280ZI - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel-well. >Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I > voted for Eisenhower. >Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get > this car. >Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to be in therapy . >Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart) >Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones. >Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph > and change lanes when I pull up behind them. >Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall. >Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall. >Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is > better than no convertible at all. >Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit. >Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a > lemming. >Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits > pending. >Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or > his reports. >Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is > in the shop 280 days per year. >Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp. >Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle. >Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers. >Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above) >Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an > autograph. >Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son > named Cole. >Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen > wheeler. >MGB - I am dating a mechanic. >Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either. >Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. >Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to > make a fortune off the parts. >Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List. >Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena. >Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock. >Porsche 911 Turbo - I wear a hairpiece. >Porsche 944 - I am dating big-haired women that otherwise > would be inaccessible to me. >Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit > too liberal. >Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic) >Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more > inferior than Isuzu. >Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet. >Volkswagen Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns. >Volkswagen Cabriolet - I am out of the closet. >Volkswagen Golf (Tan) - I am a loser with a piss ass job, a > raging lunatic and smelly breathed geeky wimp. >Volkswagen GTI - I am very intelligent, good looking, great > disposition, down to earth, and hung like a yak. >Volkswagen Microbus - I am tripping. >Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife >>> This is brilliant.... Where did you get this Wayne? Monk