Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of

sports cars.

Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars.

Acura NSX - I am impotent.

Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires.

Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states.

Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.

Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp.

Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people.

Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when

I tell them I have a 'Vette.

Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis.

Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow

the government.

Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather.

Datsun 280ZI - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel-well.

Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I

voted for Eisenhower.

Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get

this car.

Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to be in therapy .

Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)

Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones.

Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph

and change lanes when I pull up behind them.

Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall.

Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall.

Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is

better than no convertible at all.

Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit.

Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a


Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits


Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or

his reports.

Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is

in the shop 280 days per year.

Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.

Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle.

Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.

Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)

Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an


Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son

named Cole.

Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen


MGB - I am dating a mechanic.

Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either.

Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.

Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to

make a fortune off the parts.

Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.

Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.

Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock.

Porsche 911 Turbo - I wear a hairpiece.

Porsche 944 - I am dating big-haired women that otherwise

would be inaccessible to me.

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit

too liberal.

Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)

Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more

inferior than Isuzu.

Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet.

Volkswagen Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns.

Volkswagen Cabriolet - I am out of the closet.

Volkswagen Golf (Tan) - I am a loser with a piss ass job, a

raging lunatic and smelly breathed geeky wimp.

Volkswagen GTI - I am very intelligent, good looking, great

disposition, down to earth, and hung like a yak.

Volkswagen Microbus - I am tripping.

Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife

This is brilliant.... Where did you get this Wayne?