Date: Tue, 28 May 1996 04:52:01 -0700

From: Crissie Trigger crissiet[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]IX.NETCOM.COM

Subject: ads ad humor to ADS-L

A little distraction on a slow day:

2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings,

555-1234. Leave mess.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the


Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children

$2.00. (Taken from the menu at Newt's Diner, no doubt)

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and

large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra

pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully

by hand.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan


Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful


Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge.

Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable

that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References


Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to


Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals,

and smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once,

you'll never go anywhere again.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue

Cross and salary.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to

assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of

contributing to growth of family.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,

unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home

for $1.00.