Date: Fri, 10 Jan 1997 12:17:28 CST From: Ellen Johnson Subject: Ebonics and parody This is hilarious. Forwarded from ling anth list. Ellen ______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________ Subject: Ebonics and parody Author: "Mark Allen Peterson" at INETGW Date: 1/10/97 12:11 PM A friend of mine pulled this off the web and sent it to me. In light of the ebonics discussions, I thought it might be of interest: >'GEEKONICS' IS JUST A BEGINNING >by John Woestendiek >Philadelphia Inquirer >Wed., January 8, 1997 >***************************** > >NEWS BULLETIN: Saying it will improve the education of children who have >grown up immersed in computer lingo, the school board in San Jose, Calif., >has officially designated computer English, or "Geekonics", as a second >language. > >The historic vote on Geekonics - a combination of the word "geek" and the >word "phonics" - came just weeks after the Oakland school board recognized >black English, or Ebonics, as a distinct language. > >"This entirely reconfigures our parameters," Milton "Floppy" Macintosh, >chairman of Geekonics Unlimited, said after the school board became the >first in the nation to recognize Geekonics. > >"No longer are we preformatted for failure," Macintosh said during a >celebration that saw many Geekonics backers come dangerously close to >smiling. "Today, we are rebooting, implementing a program to process the >data we need to interface with all units of humanity." > >Controversial and widely misunderstood, the Geekonics movement was spawned >in California's Silicon Valley, where many children have grown up in >households headed by computer technicians, programmers, engineers and >scientists who have lost ability to speak plain English and have >inadvertently passed on their high-tech vernacular to their children. > >HELPING THE TRANSITION > >While schools will not teach the language, increased teacher awareness of >Geekonics, proponents say, will help children make the transition to >standard English. Those students, in turn, could possibly help their parents >learn to speak in a manner that would lead listeners to believe that they >have actual blood coursing through their veins. > >"Bit by bit, byte by byte, with the proper system development, with >nonpreemptive multitasking, I see no reason why we can't download the data >we need to modulate our oral output," Macintosh said. > >The designation of Ebonics and Geekonics as languages reflects a growing >awareness of our nation's lingual diversity, experts say. > >Other groups pushing for their own languages and/or vernaculars to be >declared official viewed the Geekonics vote as a step in the right direction. > >"This is just, like, OK, you know, the most totally kewl thing, like, ever," >said Jennifer Notat-Albright, chairwoman of the Committee for the >Advancement of Valleyonics, headquartered in Southern California. "I mean, >like, you know?" she added. > >THEY'RE HAPPY IN DIXIE > >"Yeee-hah," said Buford "Kudzu" Davis, president of the Dixionics Coalition. >"Y'all gotta know I'm as happy as a tick on a sleeping bloodhound about this." > >Spokesmen for several subchapters of Dixionics - including Alabonics, >Tennesonics and Louisionics - also said they approved of the decision. > >Bill Flack, public information officer for the Blue Ribbon Task Force on >Bureaucratonics said that his organization would not comment on the San Jose >vote until it convened a summit meeting, studied the impact, assessed the >feasibility, finalized a report and drafted a comprehensive action plan, >which, once it clears the appropriate subcommittees and is voted on, will be >made public to those who submit the proper information-request forms. > >Proponents of Ebonics heartily endorsed the designation of Geekonics as an >official language. > >"I ain't got no problem wif it," said Earl E. Byrd, president of the Ebonics >Institute. "You ever try talkin' wif wunna dem computer dudes? Don't matter >if it be a white computer dude or a black computer dude; it's like you be >talkin' to a robot - RAM, DOS, undelete, MegaHertZ. Ain't nobody >understands. But dey keep talkin' anyway. 'Sup wif dat?" > >Those involved in the lingual diversity movement believe that only by >enacting many different English languages, in addition to all the foreign >ones practiced here, can we all end up happily speaking the same boring one, >becoming a nation that is both unified in its diversity, and diversified in >its unity. > >Others say that makes no sense at all. In any language. Received: from by INETGW.WKU.EDU (SMTPLINK V2.11 PreRelease 4) ; Fri, 10 Jan 97 12:11:06 CST Return-Path: Received: (majord[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]localhost) by (8.8.4/8.6.4) id MAA17991 for linganth-outgoing; Fri, 10 Jan 1997 12:54:01 -0500 (EST) Message-Id: <9701101751.AA13132[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]> From: "Mark Allen Peterson" To: "Linganth" Subject: Ebonics and parody Date: Fri, 12 Jan 1996 12:53:53 -0500 X-Msmail-Priority: Normal X-Priority: 3 X-Mailer: Microsoft Internet Mail 4.70.1155 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Sender: owner-linganth[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE] Precedence: bulk