Date: Fri, 9 Jan 1998 13:57:56 EST


Subject: Fwd: Kenneth and Patricia Langen langbro[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE] : Rules

Grammar Change

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I thought everyone would enjoy this piece. Hope no one objects. Carol Andrus


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Date: Wed, 7 Jan 1998 22:40:26 -0800

Subject: Kenneth and Patricia Langen langbro[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE] : Rules

Grammar Change

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From: maryanneraphael[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE] (maryanne j raphael)

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From: Kenneth and Patricia Langen langbro[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]

To: maryanne maryanneraphael[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]

Subject: Rules Grammar Change

Date: Wed, 07 Jan 1998 22:20:43 -0800

Message-ID: 34B4703B.6FD6[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]

Hi Maryanne!

Thought you would want to know about the new changes in the language


Rules Grammar Change

WASHINGTON, DC--The U.S. Grammar Guild Monday

announced that no more will traditional grammar rules English

follow. Instead there will a new form of organizing sentences be.

U.S. Grammar Guild according to, the new structure loosely on

an obscure 800-year-old, pre-medieval Anglo-Saxon syntax is based.

The syntax primarily verbs, verb clauses and adjectives at the end of

sentences placing involves. Results this often, to ears American, a

sentence backward appearing.

"Operating under we are, one major rule," said Joyce Watters,

president of the U.S. Grammar Guild. "Make English, want we,

more archaic and dignified sounding to be, as if every word coming

from the tongue of a centuries-old, mystical wizard, is."

Brief pause Watters made then a. "Know I, know I," said she.

"Confusing sounds it, but every American used to it soon will be."

At a press conference recent greeted warmly the new measure

by President Clinton was.

"No longer will we adhere to the dull, predictable structure of

our traditional grammar system. This nation will now begin speaking,

writing and listening to something fresh, exciting and different,"



"Excuse me," added he pause long after a. "Meant I, the dull,

predictable system our traditional grammar of adhere to no longer will

we. Speaking, writing and listening to something fresh, exciting and

different will this nation now begin."

This week beginning, America across, all dictionaries,

thesauruses and any other books or objects with any sort of writing

upon it or in it revised to fit the new syntax will be. Libraries


people wish to that the transition promptly begin will, but that

patient people should be, as so much to change there is.

"Feel good it will make people to know for all these changes

that, librarians cold, crabby and as paranoid and

overprotective of their books and periodicals as ever remain will,"

said Yvonne Richter, Director of the Library of Congress.

The enthusiasm of government officials despite, many Americans

about the new plan upset are. "Why in the world did

they do this?" a New Canaan, CT, insurance salesman, said Brent Pryce.

"There's absolutely no reason. It's utterly pointless

and will cause total chaos throughout the country, not to mention the

fact that it will cost billions of dollars to implement. And

what's this U.S. Grammar Guild, anyway? I've never heard of it."

When of this complaint informed, government officials that they

could not the man's words understand said, because of

the strange, unintelligible way of speaking he was.


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