Date: Tue, 9 Jan 1996 21:54:03 -0800
From: R Mckinzey rkm[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]SLIP.NET
Subject: Vowels, et al
My cousin just sent this and I thought y'all might get a chuckle or two out
of it as well. Rima
CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA
Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients
Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton
announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of
Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will
provide the region with the critically needed letters A, E, I, O, and U, and
hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.
"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and
have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said.
"Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time
the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words.
The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavor."
The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department, is set
early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated
be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500
24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the
Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.
Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels.
"My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnijkln, 44, said.
"I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me
to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one
Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could
George Humphries. This is my dream."
The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign
since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants
Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital,
life-giving supplies of L's S's and T's.