Date: Thu, 29 Feb 1996 04:50:58 -0800


Subject: Oxymorons

Someone claims this is a complete list of Oxymorons. I doubt it. What are

some of yours?

Oxymoron is not a photo of a mentally weak hispanic and his bovine pet.

"Anarchy rules!"

"Free with purchase"

"Happy Monday"

"One size fits all"

"Slow children" (sign with a picture of a running child)

"Thank God I'm an Atheist"

"This page intentionally left blank"

A little big

Academic sorority

Accordion music

Accurate stereotype

Act naturally

Advanced BASIC

Aerobic exercise

Affirmative action, equal opportunity

Aging yuppie

Airline food

Almost exactly

Alone together

American beer

American chop suey

American culture

American education

American English

American geographers

American history

American Honda


Apple tech support

Arms limitation

Art student

Artificial intelligence

Athletic scholarship

Australian spelling

Automated data processing

Back to the future

Bad health

Balding hair

Bankrupt millionaire

Better than new

Black light

Boring orgasm

Brave politician

British fashion

Budget deficit

Bug free code

Business ethics


Cafeteria food

California culture

California expressway

Canadian culture

Casual intimacy


Central Intelligence Agency

Centrally-planned economy

Cheerful pessimist


Christian education

Christian militia

Christian Scientists

Church of Scientology

Civil engineer

Civil servant

Civil libertarian

Civil war

Classic rock & roll

Clean dirt

Clean hack

Clearly confused

Clearly misunderstood

Clinton leadership

Coca-Cola Foods

Coed fraternity/sorority

Collective liberty

College algebra

College education

Colored music

Committee schedule

Committee decision

Common sense

Communist Party

Completely unfinished

Compulsory volunteering

Computer science

Computer jock

Computer security

Congressional ethics

Congressional oversight

Conservative Democrat

Conspicuous absence

Constant change

Construction worker

Convenience store

Cooperative multitasking

Corporate planning

Cost effective

Country music

Courtesy towing

Creation science

Curved line

Customer satisfaction

CNN style

Debugged program

Debutante ball

Decent lawyer

Definite maybe

Degradable plastic

Democratic Congress

Department of the Interior

Desktop publishing

Diet ice cream

Dining hall food

Disco music

Down escalator/elevator

Dress pants

Driving pleasure

Dry beer

Dry ice

Dry wine

DOS operating system

Economic reform

Electroshock therapy

English syntax

Enquiring minds

Environmentalist bumper sticker

Ergonomic keyboard

European Community

Evolutionary fact

Exact estimate

Executive decision

Express bus

Express mail

Fair reporting

Fair trial

Fallout shelter

Family entertainment

Fast food

Federal budget

Fighting for peace

Final version

First annual

First-strike defense


Flexible freeze

Football scholarship

Forth programming language

Found missing

"Four corners of a round table"

Free election

Free electron laser

Free love

Freezer burn

French culture

Fresh frozen

Friendly advice

Friendly competitor

Friendly fire

Full-length bikini

Full service

Functional manager

Funny clean joke

Fuzzy logic

Gay drill sergeant

Genuine imitation

Good grief

Good mother-in-law

Good Alan Rudolph film

Government aid/assistance

Government efficiency

Government organization

Graduate student

Great Britain

Guest host

Gunboat diplomacy

Half dead

Happily married

Hard disk

Hard water

Hazardous waste disposal

Helicopter flight

Higher education

Holy Roman Empire

Holy War

Honest crook

Honest politician

House Ethics Committee

Huge market niche

Human evolution

Indecent exposure

Industrial park

Institutional Revolutionary Party

Intelligent lifeforms

Internal Revenue Service

IBM compatible

Journalistic accuracy

Journalistic integrity

Jumbo shrimp

Just in Time (JIT)

Justice Rehnquist

Justice Thomas

Kentucky Fried Chicken

Kosher ham

Lace-up loafers

Lebanese government

Legal brief

Legal ethics

Legally drunk

Liberal Party (conservative)

Liberal, Kansas

Liquid crystal

Literal interpretation

Living dead

Long Island Expressway

Male compassion

Management science

Management support

Management action

Management style

Marketing strategy

Married life

Martial law

Math teacher

Mature student

McDonalds dinner

Medicaid payment

Medical ethics

Microsoft Works

Middle East peace process

Military intelligence

Militart justice

Military peace

Modified final judgement


Moral Majority

Mutual attraction

Mutually exclusive

New Classic

New Democrat

New Mexico

Nice cat

Noble savage

Non-alcoholic beer

Non-denominational church

Nonworking mother

Now, then

Nuclear defense

Objective parent

Oddly appropriate


Operating system

Operation Rescue

Pacific Ocean

Paperless office

Partly pregnant

Passive aggression

Peace force

Peace officer

PeaceMaker missile

People's Democratic Republic Of Yemen

Personal computer

Petty cash

Philosophy science

Plastic glasses

Pocket calculator

Police protection

Polite cabbie

Political leadership

Political science

Politically correct

Poor Republican

Pop art

Portable standard Lisp

Postal Service

Pot luck

Practical logic

Precision bombing

Presidential promises

Pretty ugly

Private e-mail

Productivity committee

Professional courtesy

Progressive Conservative

Proprietary standard

Psychiatric care

Public school education

Quality assurance

Quality service

Quebec intellectual


Quick fix

Quick reboot

R & D

Rap music

Rapid transit

Rare steak

Reagan memoirs

Real fantasy

Realistic schedule

Realtime computing

Reasonable female

Recently new

Reckless caution

Red Indians

Relativistic correction

Religious education

Religious fact

Religious tolerance

Religious science

Republican initiative

Resident alien

Responsible committee

Restrained grandparent

Rolling stop

Rush hour

Russian economy

Safe sex

Same difference

Sanitary landfill

Satisfied Democrat

Saving price

Savings & loan

School food

Scottish Danish (actual pastry sold at 7-11)

Sedate sex

Semi truck

Semi-boneless ham

Senate Ethics Committee

Sensitive male

Severely/slightly killed

Silent scream

Small crowd

Smart bomb

Smart drugs

Social Security

Social science

Soft rock

Software documentation

Software engineering

Solid glass

Southern justice

Spare rib

Speed limit

Sports sedan

Stealth bomber

Straight hook

Student athlete

Student teacher

Summer school

Supporting documentation

Sweet sorrow

Swiss Steak

Synthetic natural gas

Tame cat

Taped live

Tax return

Television critic

Temporary tax increase

Terribly pleased

Terminal initialization

Tight slacks

Tone color

Total Quality Management (TQM)

True gossip

True story

Unbiased journalism

Unbiased news reports

Unbiased opinion

Unbiased predisposition

Uncontested divorce

Understanding banker

Understanding UNIX

Union workers

United States

University of Nevada at Las Vegas

UNIX security

Unsalted Saltines

User friendliness

User-friendly war

Vegetable beef soup

Ventura Freeway

Violent agreement

Virtual reality

Voting power

Waiting patiently

War games

War hero

Wilderness management

Windows NT (New Technology)

Wonder Bread

Woods Metal

Working vacation

Young Floridian

Yummy sushi

10K fun run

12-ounce pound cake

6502-based computer