Date: Thu, 11 Apr 1996 14:36:22 -0600 From: Ellen Johnson Subject: story, part 2 forwarded from dlpatton[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE] >From: UMEM::DLPATTON 11-APR-1996 14:24:18.09 >Subj: sequel > >Here is the sequel to the Demonstratives > > NOUNSENSE > > On the opposite side of Drearyville from the Demonstratives lived the >Noun family. There were Mr. Case, Ms. Gender (she kept her maiden name), and >Aunt Number along with her four children. One day, the entire family was >meandering through the hills on the way to a picnic while singing "The Hills >are Alive with the Sound of Progressive Simplification," when along came a >giant spaceship! Two alien robots emerged named Chaucer 1 and Syncopated Jim. >Chaucer 1 ordered Mr. Case to empty the picnic basket and hand over the >contents. Mr. Case emptied all the Dative singulars except for a few into the >robot's hands. The remaining ones were in the basket so long that they became >petrified. > Syncopated Jim went through Mr. Case's pockets and stole all his weak >"es's," but accidentally dropped the s's back into the pocket. Chaucer 1 >retreated back into the spaceship to visit the little robot's room,, so >Syncopated Jim continued to take over. He pointed a laser gun at Ms. Gender and >levelled the psychological and phonetic aspects of her grammatical gender by >destroying her inflectional endings. > That takes us to Aunt Number and Children 1, 2, 3, and 4. After >Syncopated Jim had taken care of Ms. Gender, two robot dogs came beeping out of >the spaceship. Their names were Masculine A and Neuter A. (Neuter A is no >longer able to procreate!) They had vacuum-like mouths that absorbed Middle >English nouns into their declensions. The children were left alone because >they each had a good excuse for why they shouldn't be absorbed. Child 1 said >that his declension compromised umlaut plural. Child 2 said that she had >neuter monosyllables with long stems having unchanged, or apparently unchanged, >plurals. Child 3 said that he had an N-stem and weak declension. Finally, >Child 4 said that he had double plurals. They grew up and lived happily ever >after in Modern Englishville. > >THE END. > >See you Sunday! > >Dana