Date: Sat, 30 May 1998 13:03:32 EDT
From: Carol Andrus
Subject: Fwd: Kenneth Re: Language Announcement...

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This is yet another variation on the "Orvell" version I sent not long ago. Let
me know if this is too trite to post.

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From: maryanneraphael[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]
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Date: Fri, 29 May 1998 14:31:54 -0700
Subject: Kenneth and Patricia Langen :
Language Announcement...Euro-English
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--------- Begin forwarded message ----------
From: Kenneth and Patricia Langen
To: Ann and Vaughn Kezirian ,Jim Burton
,Corrie Kezirian ,Helen/Coco
, Dan Danner ,Debi Bray
, George Reioux ,Dave and Dolly
,Dave and Kim Schall ,Irene
Ruben ,Eileen Boogay ,"Judy C."
,"Drew, Jo, Patti,Kim & K.T."
,Kristine Rowe
,Kelly Steger ,Richie
and Janice ,maryanne ,Mary
Beth and Jesse ,Mike Cassidy
,Mary Tiesen ,Malia
Joy ,Reggie and Evelyn ,Phil
Beckett ,Margie Taylor
,RICK ,Robin
Kezirian ,Joan and John
Subject: Language Announcement...Euro-English
Date: Thu, 28 May 1998 20:00:56 -0700
Message-ID: <356E247F.191CF50E[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]>


The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
finally been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather
than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the final
negotiations however,
Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room
for improvement
and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as
EuroEnglish (Euro
forshort). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants
will resieve this news with joy.Also, the hard "c" will be replaced
with "k". Not only will
this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing
publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced by "f".
This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the
third year, publik
akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated
changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double
letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al will agree that the
horible mes of silent
"e"s in the languaj is disgrasful, and they would go. By the forth yer,
peopl wil be reseptiv
to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by v. During ze fifz
yer, ze unesesary "o"
kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer. Ze drem vil finali
kum tru. Auf wiedersehen!

--------- End forwarded message ----------

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